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reapfml
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11297
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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reapfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14079) - you deserved it (53011)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

#4914313
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48090) - you deserved it (3208)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40090) - you deserved it (3177)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

#4911322
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (46199)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33832) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

#4900941
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (3217)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

#4897987
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/29/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by chinesef000d (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

#4891405
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44679) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/28/2009 at 8:59pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

#4889725
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (11304)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

#4880765
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45517) - you deserved it (1981)

On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

#4879906
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (3966)

On 08/28/2009 at 9:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

#4879215
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53280) - you deserved it (3497)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (6021)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5715) - you deserved it (45819)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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