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Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14284) - you deserved it (30768)
On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15101) - you deserved it (1902)
On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (9029)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4594) - you deserved it (27481)
On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (3568)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23045) - you deserved it (9529)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5925) - you deserved it (22710)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her my umbrella and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (1685)
On 12/09/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by MynameisntToby (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6687) - you deserved it (24391)
On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8188) - you deserved it (20207)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17863) - you deserved it (8212)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (2680)
On 12/06/2009 at 9:03am - health - by lol (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6064) - you deserved it (29856)
On 11/26/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (3306)
On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11166) - you deserved it (23416)
On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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