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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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reapfml

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reapfml
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8073
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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reapfml's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (3253)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (24696) - you deserved it (1587)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (25913) - you deserved it (3621)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (34950) - you deserved it (10173)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

#13347078 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/06/2010 at 8:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#13146881 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (3008)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm - animals - by tracie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (4108) - you deserved it (35277)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (74119) - you deserved it (7230)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (31730) - you deserved it (3079)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (19595) - you deserved it (1903)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (8887)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35968) - you deserved it (10383)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

#12300042 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (6067)

On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

#11470870 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (42820) - you deserved it (7115)

On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)