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Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (1610) - you totally deserved it (3513)
On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States
Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3378) - you totally deserved it (15621)
On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1970) - you totally deserved it (2620)
On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out the mature woman I had a one-night-stand with six weeks ago, is six weeks pregnant. I'm 21, she's 52. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2309) - you totally deserved it (6047)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Capt_Hammer (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4162) - you totally deserved it (10107)
On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you totally deserved it (7845)
On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you totally deserved it (1811)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4485) - you totally deserved it (24640)
On 10/05/2009 at 2:53pm - misc - by backwardsinlife - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to visit my parents. My dad went on a religious tirade, my mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told mum to 'go to her room and pray'. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you totally deserved it (1723)
On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30518) - you totally deserved it (19706)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16757) - you totally deserved it (250050)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16406) - you totally deserved it (55573)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)
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