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Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13295) - you totally deserved it (2337)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9493) - you totally deserved it (3397)
On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16313) - you totally deserved it (3593)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9088) - you totally deserved it (1604)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each others company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8677) - you totally deserved it (1954)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4167) - you totally deserved it (12001)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9510) - you totally deserved it (2211)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17037) - you totally deserved it (2201)
On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you totally deserved it (5158)
On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40197) - you totally deserved it (9027)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you totally deserved it (6770)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you totally deserved it (13443)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50680) - you totally deserved it (4839)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45396) - you totally deserved it (5585)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you totally deserved it (12058)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Teamarie (woman) - United States (Virginia)
