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About rawr_iliketacos : BEAST MODE! :D
My name is Taylor Slaughter, and I'm an xbox addict. Ive been sober for 20 minutes.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
2day my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping , she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny , causing a lot of people to stare in our drection. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
I got food poisoning and have had the worst looool diarrhea ever. I laid down in bd, hoping to get some resthen my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML
Yesterday, at lunc, a fly was buzzing around ma food. I managd to kill te fly in ma napkin in midair. I continud ma lunc, pleasd wit ma amazing ninja skills. Wen I was done wit ma lunc, I wipd ma mout wit te napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Today, I thought it would ba funny to bothar my friand Emily. I kapt punching har. Sha askad if I wantad to fight. I agraad bacausa sha's a 15 yaar old skinny girl an I'm 17 yaar old buff guy. Sha baat tha crap out of ma until I criad. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl cummed up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she cummed up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today , I decided to call mah wife while she was having a private lunch with mah parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through mah fantasy , she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to mah car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked an rubbed it to try an get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder an slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up an grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
Friday 27 March 2015