Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

randompizzaguy

Offline (the 01/16/2014 at 10:27pm) | Search for a member

randompizzaguy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 December 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 81
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About randompizzaguy : I never use sarcasm

that was sarcasm

I'm not actually involved in the process of making, nor delivering pizzas.

I'm in a great relationship.

I live a boring life, and make lame
comments here and now.

randompizzaguy's page activity

Visits<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:17pm<b>EmeraldMoonshine</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:29pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:18pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 4:10pm<b>jbach220</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 3:32pm<b>DrownedMyFish</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:24pm<b>bonnnie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:46am<b>mollyxrose</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:14am<b>ninjakitten</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 9:49am<b>Zeishah</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:15am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:46am<b>kayse</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:53am<b>TRaww21</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 12:57am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 10:27pm<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 9:32pm

randompizzaguy's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of randompizzaguy's badges

randompizzaguy's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45581) - you deserved it (5272)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

#21133376
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42346) - you deserved it (3110)

On 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Jammu and Kashmir)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (6126)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

#21126146
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (5236)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:18am - love - by willstaysingle (man) -

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (4568)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35774) - you deserved it (5523)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (7302)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from a girl I've had a crush on for a while. As I was about to accept it, it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on my name by accident, and didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML

#21121713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (3554)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (8605)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

#21117173
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43432) - you deserved it (3741)

On 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by reb (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (3328)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (16177)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

#21092678
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44924) - you deserved it (3962)

On 03/21/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (5830)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: