randombleeps

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randombleeps

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 847
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About randombleeps : I LOVE MY MUSIC LOUD!!!!!

randombleeps's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:45am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:39am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:59pm<b>constipation</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:05am<b>bushytomatoe</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:44am<b>elfyna_g</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:23pm<b>DeletedSoul</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>GunSlinger69</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:39pm<b>MargaretMary</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:40pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:35am<b>wysteria14</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:44pm<b>Dchag117</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:42pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:23pm<b>professorstark</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:12am<b>billionair11</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Ellie323</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 7:49pm

randombleeps's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of randombleeps's badges

randombleeps's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

by scarredforlife / 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

by ApparentlyNotEno / 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 8:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

by JJLight / 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Love