About randombleeps : I LOVE MY MUSIC LOUD!!!!!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (2474)
On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (2628)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (3011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37713) - you deserved it (2742)
On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43786) - you deserved it (3633)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (6309)
On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47741) - you deserved it (3405)
On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45342) - you deserved it (4113)
On 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm - love - by ApparentlyNotEno (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43155) - you deserved it (3470)
On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)
Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51629) - you deserved it (4713)
On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59414) - you deserved it (3296)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34934) - you deserved it (8655)
On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45937) - you deserved it (20992)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (8663)
On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38549) - you deserved it (6330)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
