About rainbowdeathray : ...?
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (11576)
On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23417) - you deserved it (2330)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6717) - you deserved it (23239)
On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17174) - you deserved it (1924)
On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (3278)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20160) - you deserved it (4440)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34092) - you deserved it (11974)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20064) - you deserved it (2580)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by brittrod - United States
Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4899) - you deserved it (30042)
On 12/04/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (7669)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47450) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (2275)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (437)
On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37064) - you deserved it (8625)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (2800) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 20 May 2013
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