- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Not specified
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 4580
- Number of comments : 0
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted
About rainbowdeathray : ...?
About rainbowdeathray : ...?
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
by kfoehslfns / 08/01/2010 at 4:45am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML
by luvlessbootycall / 07/24/2010 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
Today, I spent some time in a sun-bed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
by Aiaiii / 06/03/2010 at 3:55am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Health
Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML
by fatlady / 03/07/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by brokenarm / 03/03/2010 at 11:46am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Health
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
by ohemgee23 / 02/19/2010 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
by Lizzielollipop816 / 02/18/2010 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by ShayisPay101 / 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
by klsdhjla / 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by dzisfml / 02/14/2010 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love