About rainbowdeathray : ...?
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (1914)
On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (2471)
On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (2423)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16321) - you deserved it (1490)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14651) - you deserved it (1963)
On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16768) - you deserved it (1967)
On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (1291)
On 06/11/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by fordneagles (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19491) - you deserved it (6756)
On 06/11/2012 at 1:25am - love - by thanksnicksparks (man) - United States
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7392) - you deserved it (18127)
On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (13487)
On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)
Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (3345)
On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19162) - you deserved it (1842)
On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML
I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (3678)
On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17953) - you deserved it (1649)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (31451)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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