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Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37724) - you deserved it (2284)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (2965)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38664) - you deserved it (3553)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (3829)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50108) - you deserved it (7209)
On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61451) - you deserved it (4095)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68518) - you deserved it (4139)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (4476)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (59868)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46453) - you deserved it (2741)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (6223)
On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (3441)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by vegas518 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50967) - you deserved it (3363)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (3266)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47463) - you deserved it (3366)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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