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Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 7:51am) | Search for a member
About qwillis98 : My favorite commenters are Perdix, Docbastard, pleonasm, ICastillio, Welshite, enslaved and noor, but not particularly in that order. I don't comment often but when i do i try to make a good one. I'm not a grammar nazi but when you type like "yuh nede 2 gt a lyffe" i will go fucking apeshit on you! But i'll never correct someone when I need a dictionary as well.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Friday 5 February 2016