About qwillis98 : My favorite commenters are Perdix, Docbastard, pleonasm, ICastillio, Welshite, enslaved and noor, but not particularly in that order. I don't comment often but when i do i try to make a good one. I'm not a grammar nazi but when you type like "yuh nede 2 gt a lyffe" i will go fucking apeshit on you! But i'll never correct someone when I need a dictionary as well.
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qwillis98's favorite FMLs
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
by lifesucks4me / 02/23/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by alhummel21 / 02/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I was called by my one night stand. She informed me she was pregnant with my child, i asked… Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. We've been dating for 3 months, I'm 16, he's 17. I felt too bad… Today, i got up and got ready for work at 6am, having not gone to bed until 2. When i got to work,…