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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8975) - you deserved it (1120)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (4935)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10874) - you deserved it (2096)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3975) - you deserved it (8445)
On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4229) - you deserved it (9948)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (1015)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12082) - you deserved it (2681)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (6699)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8786) - you deserved it (46523)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19340) - you deserved it (3818)
On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (4610)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22743) - you deserved it (5267)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48975) - you deserved it (7525)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (7478)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (10386)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
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