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quraishakrueger

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quraishakrueger
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3726
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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quraishakrueger's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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It’s in the can

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quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (80492)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML

#15150765
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by roadkill - United States

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

#15142777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (1922)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

#15136903
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by awkward (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

#15133415
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (9755)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by newlywed - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (4400)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

#15114672
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (5876)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14510) - you deserved it (43072)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (4552)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (22242)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18718) - you deserved it (30459)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43862) - you deserved it (4014)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

#15029276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you deserved it (3751)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (4803)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5636) - you deserved it (57682)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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