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quraishakrueger's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs
by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML
by aldfgadfklbg / 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 9:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by lolzboss / 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Intimacy
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
by devinbyrne / 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by roadkill / 02/28/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Transportation
- Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not… Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into… Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having…