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quraishakrueger

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quraishakrueger
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3729
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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quraishakrueger's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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It’s in the can

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quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (86490)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99616) - you deserved it (5896) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49552) - you deserved it (7925)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (2124)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (37515)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (3807)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (5399)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32981) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (3889)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

#15189592
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5481) - you deserved it (44528)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

#15186423
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (2567)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -



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