quraishakrueger

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quraishakrueger

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5338
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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quraishakrueger's page activity

Visits<b>andv888</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:19am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 6:18am<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:10pm<b>FuckkSam</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:29pm<b>scrapedforward</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:55am<b>lilabbs</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:22pm<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>GodOfCybertron</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 1:23pm<b>smr167</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 11:39am<b>khaya</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 12:53am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 12:37pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/24/2011 at 1:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 10:49am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:28pm<b>jren207</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 6:56pm

quraishakrueger's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of quraishakrueger's badges

quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2011 at 7:50am / United States / Work

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

by radiationkillz / 03/21/2011 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

by WhyMe / 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

by Abby_gummibear / 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

by lezbplove / 03/19/2011 at 1:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

by MacGrouber / 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

by thisblows / 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy