Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

quraishakrueger

Search for a member

quraishakrueger

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3970
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

quraishakrueger's page activity

Visits<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:10pm<b>FuckkSam</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:29pm<b>scrapedforward</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:55am<b>lilabbs</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:22pm<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>GodOfCybertron</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 1:23pm<b>smr167</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 11:39am<b>khaya</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 12:53am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 12:37pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/24/2011 at 1:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 10:49am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:28pm<b>jren207</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 6:56pm<b>Lorysa</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 6:10pm<b>tidbre123</b> - the 06/28/2011 at 6:00pm<b>ObWanCanBlowME</b> - the 06/20/2011 at 11:32pm<b>zojieeu</b> - the 05/19/2011 at 7:09am

quraishakrueger's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of quraishakrueger's badges

quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (10806)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (4596)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47031) - you deserved it (4449)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57369) - you deserved it (6220)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37151) - you deserved it (31495)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38721) - you deserved it (6796)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (48654)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45320) - you deserved it (9578)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46084) - you deserved it (3854)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

#15391522
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39593) - you deserved it (4619)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (7159)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

#15377082
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49048) - you deserved it (21476)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:26am - love - by lezbplove - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29444) - you deserved it (4188)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46244) - you deserved it (8134)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15525) - you deserved it (46835)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: