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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45517) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23503) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (2507)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7899) - you deserved it (51299)
On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13280) - you deserved it (21456)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (6119)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21490)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (3758)
On 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by boopadoop - United States
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42779) - you deserved it (6047)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (6230)
On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11124) - you deserved it (27732)
On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)
Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (3240)
On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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