This member hasn't filled in their description.
quraishakrueger's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Me / 10/27/2011 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
by boopadoop / 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I… Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually… Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up…
- Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…