quraishakrueger

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quraishakrueger

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 October 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6256
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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quraishakrueger's page activity

Visits<b>Erin2009</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 8:51pm<b>andv888</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:19am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 6:18am<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:10pm<b>FuckkSam</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:29pm<b>scrapedforward</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:55am<b>lilabbs</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:22pm<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>GodOfCybertron</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 1:23pm<b>smr167</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 11:39am<b>khaya</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 12:53am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 12:37pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/24/2011 at 1:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 10:49am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:28pm

quraishakrueger's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of quraishakrueger's badges

quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

by Me / 10/27/2011 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy