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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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quizikall

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quizikall
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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quizikall's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a store and came across a Halloween candy isle. I got so excited that I began talking to the candy, in a fake British accent. FML

#5873814 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (5627) - you deserved it (29339)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by mojozk (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML

#5824297 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (21549) - you deserved it (1174)

On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (1994)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

#4945684 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (9231)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

#4850568 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (52195) - you deserved it (3538)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Hellohaileyexoh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (59767) - you deserved it (4655)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

#4294865 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (47099) - you deserved it (1933)

On 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040 (472)

I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (80934)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

#4034101 (413)

I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (16729)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML

#3826927 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (4870)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:07am - work - by mrmatt008 (man) - France

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

#3777289 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (47993) - you deserved it (2297)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by hockey9797 (woman) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (36139) - you deserved it (10871)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

#2376689 (390)

I agree, your life sucks (54097) - you deserved it (3905)

On 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

#904646 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (169475) - you deserved it (20904)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (12020) - you deserved it (127931)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada