quantumflux22

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quantumflux22

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1653
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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quantumflux22's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 12/15/2011 at 1:31am<b>Othello22</b> - the 03/05/2011 at 12:43pm<b>seahorses4eva</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 10:45am<b>dirtyblond</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 8:10pm<b>Jimboom</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 11:28am<b>KBruce317</b> - the 01/21/2011 at 4:31pm

quantumflux22's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of quantumflux22's badges

quantumflux22's favorite FMLs

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

by Whatdididowrong? / 05/10/2011 at 1:18am / Kids

Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2011 at 1:12am / Health

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

by eringoBRA / 05/06/2011 at 10:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

by anonymous / 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm / Kids

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love