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quantumflux22's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
quantumflux22's favorite FMLs
by jerdub93 / 11/19/2011 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
by backstabbed / 10/29/2011 at 3:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML
by ashleyyyy / 10/28/2011 at 11:59am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
by danii / 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
by danii / 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 4:03am / United States / Money
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
by WTFwhywouldyoudothat / 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Miscellaneous
by Ser17 / 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm / United States / Animals
- Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between… Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together"… Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the…
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, my bike brakes failed as I was going downhill. I ended up running a light and hit a car at…