quadruplestufore

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quadruplestufore

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  • Number of visits : 520
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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quadruplestufore's favorite FMLs

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

by soundbox / 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous