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Today , I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for u too." FML
Today , when I got home , I went into room to find a Bratz doll an a Ken doll laying naked , on top of each other on bed !! Attached to them was a note that stated , "Please , use yur imagination an find other ways besides porn to get excited !! The computer keeps getting viruses !! Love , Mom." FML
today I went shopping with my new ( It's true, I'm a Ninja ) shrt on . Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye . A little boy runs up to me, yells ( You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that! ), and runs off . FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see mah newborn . I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him . Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a womanho I didn't know come out . She screamed . My wife was in the room next door . fat FML
Today, I found out thathilst I was asleep last night, mah boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out thathenever he unlockd a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes an putting it in mah mouth. FML
Friday 27 March 2015