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quadruplestufore

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quadruplestufore

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quadruplestufore's favorite FMLs

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25502) - you deserved it (3765)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (2214)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (2290)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10791) - you deserved it (24808)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (6980)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (4900)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

#18195085
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (3032)

On 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41848) - you deserved it (8758)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (8672)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (8718)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113137) - you deserved it (15263)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (9884)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)



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