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purplenerple8

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purplenerple8

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  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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purplenerple8's page activity

Visits<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:17pm<b>parism143</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:04pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:42am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 10:05pm

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purplenerple8's favorite FMLs

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (64386)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47213) - you deserved it (17123)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (4339)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (2663)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (20288)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (3501)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (8190)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (2759)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46563) - you deserved it (3339)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17087) - you deserved it (1315)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (1296)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (1828)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (2536)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)



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