purple91

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purple91

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3177
  • Number of comments : 312
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

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purple91's page activity

Visits<b>Puncake55</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:22pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:43pm<b>Trb44</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:30am<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:21am<b>jen1097</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 11:14pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:58am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:57pm<b>bubblesBVB61113</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:32am<b>OneBigFail</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Fyl2014</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:11pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:36pm<b>troutbum</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:23pm<b>maia1228</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 2:28pm<b>Shaowolf</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:23am<b>SW1FTTGrafix</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:36am<b>Kristen_70</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:33pm<b>Coorayy</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 2:22am<b>middlechildsucks</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 4:52pm

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100 kick ass comments

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purple91's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

by JustMyLuck / 02/12/2010 at 9:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

by MissBeEyeTeeSeeH / 11/08/2009 at 6:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

by overachiever / 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

by gimp. / 05/08/2009 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

by ummPORQUE / 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

by Gjkashldf / 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy