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pt300

Offline (the 12/19/2015 at 10:13pm) | Search for a member

pt300

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Visits<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>EmberEyes</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:43am<b>msrachelmarie</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Stylux</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:44am<b>coversquirrel</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:44pm

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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pt300's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

#21481034
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (1607)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

#21464751
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (2247)

On 09/05/2015 at 12:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

#21413003
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (2159)

On 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Cyprus (Paphos)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (2862)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (7137)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (7962)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (58508)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36035) - you deserved it (2469)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34853) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (3642)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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