pt300

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Offline (the 12/19/2015 at 10:13pm)

pt300

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2834
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pt300's page activity

Visits<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>EmberEyes</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:43am<b>msrachelmarie</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Stylux</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:44am<b>coversquirrel</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:44pm

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pt300's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 8:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

by Bex98 / 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

by lentkaysi / 09/10/2015 at 6:55pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2015 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

by dannidoll93 / 08/22/2015 at 10:59am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

by love and tolerape, apparently / 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm / India (Jharkhand) / Intimacy

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

by lilipalmer / 02/13/2015 at 1:44am / France / Love

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

by marigoldcobain / 02/04/2015 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

by Elrond Hubbard / 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

by fukinlonely / 01/12/2015 at 7:53am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

by janegeorge / 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love