Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pt300

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

pt300

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1091
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pt300's page activity

Visits<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>EmberEyes</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:43am<b>msrachelmarie</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Stylux</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:44am<b>coversquirrel</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:44pm

pt300's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of pt300's badges

pt300's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (1929)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31575) - you deserved it (3403)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6481)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20391) - you deserved it (26052)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (13824)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
68 comments

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40091) - you deserved it (3050)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37361) - you deserved it (10890)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (2562)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you deserved it (5535)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (3456)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: