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pt300

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pt300

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  • Number of visits : 960
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pt300's page activity

Visits<b>EmberEyes</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:43am<b>msrachelmarie</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Stylux</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:44am<b>coversquirrel</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:44pm

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pt300's favorite FMLs

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (5270)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (6539)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (24587)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (13520)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (2728)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
67 comments

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (10786)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38191) - you deserved it (2560)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (5518)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

#21251280
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31933) - you deserved it (3127)

On 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm - health - by svenska75 (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

#21247278
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (2894)

On 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

#21246432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (8827)

On 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm - misc - by spark - United States (California)



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