About psuedodragon : Boopdadeedo
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14127) - you deserved it (5099)
On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (2035)
On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (2382)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at Wal-Mart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man comes up to me and said "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (2207)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by yeahhhhhommmie (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (1554)
On 09/17/2011 at 1:13pm - work - by RebekahBrooke - United States
Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (1638)
On 09/17/2011 at 3:44am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (1674)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:43am - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (3105)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (1672)
On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16958) - you deserved it (2039)
On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18440) - you deserved it (2555)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (1902)
On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (2251)
On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32680) - you deserved it (8559)
On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (3551)
On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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