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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (2892)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4490) - you deserved it (47671)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (6310)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (3376)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (3519)
On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9621) - you deserved it (21539)
On 09/25/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (32347)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11816) - you deserved it (3288)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (1917)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (4639)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (27809)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34982) - you deserved it (98549)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61167) - you deserved it (4233)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69503) - you deserved it (14724)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (14413)
On 07/27/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by usafprog (man) - United States (Alabama)
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