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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (2615)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (1658)
On 09/04/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by JerseyGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7634) - you deserved it (33205)
On 09/03/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by FenderBender (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12048) - you deserved it (28155)
On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10021) - you deserved it (254632)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54607) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33207) - you deserved it (2975)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67066) - you deserved it (2463)
On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17712) - you deserved it (29401)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25091) - you deserved it (2826)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4443) - you deserved it (37732)
On 08/22/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by John (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (123053)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12588) - you deserved it (32721)
On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (3475)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52811) - you deserved it (9988)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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