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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10542) - you deserved it (32406)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6624) - you deserved it (18034)
On 08/10/2012 at 7:42am - animals - by Bobby - United States (Nevada)
Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14626) - you deserved it (35852)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18850) - you deserved it (1622)
On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17989) - you deserved it (5169)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (1384)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (1361)
On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (7706)
On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25400) - you deserved it (4108)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (1785)
On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -
Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17772) - you deserved it (889)
On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13826) - you deserved it (4177)
On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15996) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (1970)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (2936)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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