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porkchops878

Offline (the 09/11/2014 at 2:41am) | Search for a member

porkchops878

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1118
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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porkchops878's page activity

Visits<b>wackadoodle103</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:39pm<b>aliadream</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 8:07pm<b>_1296</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 2:49pm

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porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (5736)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

#13962555
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (2747)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41211) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (8138)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

#6464723
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (7675)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56885) - you deserved it (11362)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44912) - you deserved it (26762)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML

#2912753
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45703) - you deserved it (4258)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119516) - you deserved it (73983)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (49372)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

#1961267
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (12411)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68120) - you deserved it (22581)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (31891)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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