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porkchops878's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
porkchops878's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:36am / Sri Lanka / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by laughingflame / 08/04/2011 at 2:00am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
by cadillacfrank / 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Norah / 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Megara / 03/15/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got a DNA test done on my son. The good news? We share DNA, so he's mine. The bad news? My… Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the… Today, my boyfriend dumped me, yet again, because his mother made him. Fortunately for me I found…