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porkchops878

Offline (the 09/11/2014 at 2:41am) | Search for a member

porkchops878

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1109
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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porkchops878's page activity

Visits<b>wackadoodle103</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:39pm<b>aliadream</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 8:07pm<b>_1296</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 2:49pm

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porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (3094)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47329) - you deserved it (7307)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16600) - you deserved it (24111)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36881) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (4279)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (11426)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10681) - you deserved it (32562)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

#17232023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (2804)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by Norah (woman) - United States

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51184) - you deserved it (5605)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35248) - you deserved it (4485)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (9502)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (11849)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (6006)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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