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porkchops878

Offline (the 09/11/2014 at 2:41am) | Search for a member

porkchops878

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1065
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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porkchops878's page activity

Visits<b>wackadoodle103</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:39pm<b>aliadream</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 8:07pm<b>_1296</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 2:49pm

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porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (4119)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53233) - you deserved it (6549)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43702) - you deserved it (3163)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56759) - you deserved it (12730)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79523) - you deserved it (4085)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (4166)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49822) - you deserved it (8174)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69206) - you deserved it (3363)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47520) - you deserved it (5448)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59726) - you deserved it (10734)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (5705)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44008) - you deserved it (8328)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (3438)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)



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