Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/11/2014 at 2:41am) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Today mah grlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing mah junk and whispering in mah ear looool the song "Baby Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public because it's "funny as hell." FML
I saw ma upstairs neigbor outside getting looool te mail. Se asked ow ma day was, and ten apologized tat te sound of er baby's crying troug te walls kept me up last nigt. Apparently se eard meen I yelled at 2am for er fucking demon spawn to sut up. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents . Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, ( You never told us you were a lesbian, honey . ) FML
today I ate a bowl of mah girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely fir sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I Cummd Home Crying And Informd Mother That Someone Had Calld Me A 'fat Bitch' Today. She Held Me At Arms Length, Lookd Me Straight In The Eyes, And Lovingly Said, ( You Can't Change Who You Are. ) FML
TODAY I WAS DRIVING MA AIGT YAAR-OLD SON TO SCOOLAN A GUY CUT MA OFF , PROMPTING MA TO YALL ( DOUCA BAG ) AS A RAFLAX OUT OF TA WINDOW. RAALIZING MA MISTAKA , I TURND TO MA SON AND TOLD IM TO NAVAR , AVAR TALK LIKA TAT. HIS RASPONSA WAS , ( TOO LATA , DOUCA BAG. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015