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porkchops878

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porkchops878

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 966
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (12063)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (7464)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you deserved it (3744)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (8868)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13576) - you deserved it (34712)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34180) - you deserved it (8076)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (33260)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

#18038631
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (4106)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49441) - you deserved it (3857)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (5970)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

#18030465
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (4330)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:32am - love - by Miroslav208 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51722) - you deserved it (16522)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11705) - you deserved it (41550)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (8199)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)



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