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porkchops878

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porkchops878
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 858
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Judgmental

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porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33500) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

#19092869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35567) - you deserved it (3634)

On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (2265)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

#19084261
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (4565)

On 02/15/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2712)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6832) - you deserved it (48518)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML

#18960811
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:45pm - work - by hastobeajoke (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML

#18940800
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/29/2012 at 4:55am - love - by brokeandsingle - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28201) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (2017)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19244) - you deserved it (49624)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML

#18797635
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (18248)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States



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