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porkchops878

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porkchops878
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 848
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6775) - you deserved it (27568)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

#19504402
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6166) - you deserved it (17769)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14483) - you deserved it (3279)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

#19493868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (3859)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (2251)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you deserved it (16757)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML

#19484025
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (1553)

On 04/17/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by Merlin - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (51476) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (30605)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14884) - you deserved it (17761)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (2906)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

#19428226
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (1705)

On 04/08/2012 at 5:16am - love - by claudio117 - Canada (British Columbia)



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