Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

porkchops878

Search for a member

porkchops878

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1025
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

porkchops878's page activity

Visits<b>wackadoodle103</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:39pm<b>aliadream</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 8:07pm<b>_1296</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 2:49pm

porkchops878's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of porkchops878's badges

porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

#19679024
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14981) - you deserved it (2885)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (6770)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (3000)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (1681)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37761) - you deserved it (5039)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (4752)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (1900)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

#19643337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11391) - you deserved it (30672)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20855) - you deserved it (4668)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (5786)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6959) - you deserved it (50830)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

#19635115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (1697)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47131) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: