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porkchops878

Offline (the 09/11/2014 at 2:41am) | Search for a member

porkchops878

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1057
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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porkchops878's page activity

Visits<b>wackadoodle103</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:39pm<b>aliadream</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 8:07pm<b>_1296</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 2:49pm

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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porkchops878's favorite FMLs

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (3759)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42793) - you deserved it (10359)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44873) - you deserved it (4202)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (4284)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45016) - you deserved it (4695)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (23227)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56825) - you deserved it (8884)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50032) - you deserved it (7420)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (4375)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57856) - you deserved it (8573)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58511) - you deserved it (22847)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74953) - you deserved it (17033)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53763) - you deserved it (8458)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59155) - you deserved it (36980)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48806) - you deserved it (2753)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)



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