poppyseed420

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Offline (the 11/18/2015 at 9:07am)

poppyseed420

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1854
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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poppyseed420's page activity

Visits<b>Dalboz</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 1:28pm<b>sophiehelen</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:57pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:01pm<b>konan__</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:37am<b>mcronin</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:59pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:04pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:38am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:45pm<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:15pm<b>Odao</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:13pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:10pm<b>blakebit</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:18pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:44am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:33pm<b>parism143</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 4:04pm<b>iLike2Teabag</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 5:03am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:59am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:38am

poppyseed420's FML badges

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poppyseed420's favorite FMLs

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

by Bart / 07/03/2015 at 12:32am / Work

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received the beautiful dress I'd ordered on the internet. It's a size smaller than my usual, just to encourage me to lose weight. I managed to fit into it and wear it all day, but I've now been struggling for a couple of hours to remove it without tearing it to bits. FML

by boudinette / 04/15/2015 at 6:14am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

by chassezlenaturel / 03/24/2015 at 8:58am / Belgium / Love

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

by sting / 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

by ew / 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 5:05am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

by shartface12 / 06/06/2014 at 6:01pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while swimming in the ocean, I felt some sand under my wedding ring. I took it off for a second, and got hit by a huge wave. My ring is now lost somewhere in the ocean. FML

by smiley1014 / 11/18/2013 at 4:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work