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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (8162)
On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17533) - you deserved it (1833)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6663) - you deserved it (15803)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (3704)
On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (1751)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by charlotte9338 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (13026)
On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my friends told me all five of us should bring sleeping bags on our field trip; I brought mine only to find out they had told me that so they would get the four beds to themselves. They all 'forgot' to bring them and its only fair that I should sleep on the floor. We are here for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (2947)
On 07/16/2011 at 1:34am - misc - by bananagurl4242 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54335) - you deserved it (4980)
On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34342) - you deserved it (2747)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17492) - you deserved it (44239)
On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93001) - you deserved it (3530)
On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I had to resign myself to the fact that while everyone else will be seeing their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife on Valentine's Day, I will only be seeing my dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20703) - you deserved it (3714)
On 02/08/2011 at 7:41am - love - by Haley -
Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15328) - you deserved it (4078)
On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (2303)
On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (4212)
On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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