pokefan813

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Offline (the 07/15/2015 at 8:43pm)

pokefan813

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Orlando, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1915
  • Number of comments : 277
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About pokefan813 : I used to be very active in around 2011 but nowadays I just lurk around. I doubt I'll comment that much anymore. And my god, what was I thinking with my horrible username? Blame 14 year old me, I guess. Anyway thanks for stopping by!

My favorite commenters ( no particular order) are:
Docbastard
Kyleekay
Ebonyirony
Noorfml
Predix
Walmartpaysme

pokefan813's page activity

Visits<b>swervelol</b> - 16 hours ago<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 1:51pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:59am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:55am<b>Kilgore_Trout</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:26pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:20pm<b>tj1540</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:17am<b>PapaMoti</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 1:03am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 2:02am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:45am<b>Catsss</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:48am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Hyperspeed34</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 12:57am<b>fjsinedniend</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:05pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 11:05pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:45am

Fucked!<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:35pm

pokefan813's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of pokefan813's badges

pokefan813's favorite FMLs

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

by mustachio101 / 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck, so I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2012 at 3:56pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

by NoMagicMike / 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work