plutonium789

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plutonium789

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1013
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About plutonium789 : :P

plutonium789's page activity

Visits<b>Tezoma</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:32pm<b>kikiface</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 11:58am

plutonium789's FML badges

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plutonium789's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

by chevysprint / 02/28/2010 at 12:36am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

by Van / 12/20/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 1:53am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

by IlikeGreenPlants / 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

by Micheal / 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

by ggbhghggg / 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

by Adam / 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

by unsuspcted / 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I received an eviction notice taped to my door stating my landlord is selling his property and moving out of the country in 13 days. My landlord is my boyfriend. FML

by LonelyMonkey / 11/12/2009 at 2:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

by dumbass / 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous