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Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43457) - you deserved it (1915)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (17280)
On 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by BearGrillz - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (15606)
On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62230) - you deserved it (6213)
On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (4988)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (12615)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (12638)
On 08/17/2009 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42245) - you deserved it (3602)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41118) - you deserved it (1987)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34002) - you deserved it (3954)
On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11208) - you deserved it (28586)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50344) - you deserved it (5371)
On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10731) - you deserved it (44727)
On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (5961)
On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52113) - you deserved it (3397)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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