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Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (3599)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by LosTits (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (4361)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:23am - love - by aftermath1991 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (35142)
On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42690) - you deserved it (9766)
On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36320) - you deserved it (4581)
On 09/02/2009 at 11:12am - work - by hoboman (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46428) - you deserved it (3481)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47898) - you deserved it (5683)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13049) - you deserved it (44518)
On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11104) - you deserved it (43209)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was supposed to be picked up by my date. I haven't got my license yet, so all my dates have to pick me up. He never showed. He also didn't bother to text or call that he wasn't coming. Neither did the five other dates I was supposed to have this summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37741) - you deserved it (7095)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:52pm - love - by sabbydutchgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11320) - you deserved it (45709)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31871) - you deserved it (1796)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43642) - you deserved it (1984)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30013) - you deserved it (5243)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (4356)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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