planetsmurf

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Offline (the 09/09/2016 at 2:45am)

planetsmurf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 616
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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planetsmurf's page activity

Visits<b>jessal</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 7:11am<b>holly_fly</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:24am<b>Enderking231</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Val0</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:28am<b>xXD3ath_Ang3lXx</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:27am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:43am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:25am<b>Johnatron</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:30am<b>heavenchichi</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:00am<b>katemilli</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:42pm<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:41am<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:38pm<b>osem598</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:17pm<b>helloman5</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:15pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:33pm<b>MorganDamon</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:25am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:13pm<b>cmcgirt37383</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 4:14pm

planetsmurf's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of planetsmurf's badges

planetsmurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

by I'm stupid / 11/25/2012 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

by Jocelyn / 11/25/2012 at 2:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

by jakeson12 / 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm / United Kingdom (Dundee City) / Love

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

by Jo / 11/21/2012 at 12:42am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2012 at 5:26am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

by anonymous / 11/10/2012 at 6:02am / United States / Love

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

by Kyle / 11/09/2012 at 1:57am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2012 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

by stuck / 11/07/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

by Midnightpearls / 11/02/2012 at 11:39am / United States / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 10:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 2:18am / United States / Love

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

by Wubba87 / 06/27/2012 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.