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plaguer

Offline (the 01/19/2014 at 4:20am) | Search for a member

plaguer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4069
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - 4 hours ago<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:53am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:09pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:38pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:20am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:39am<b>lb562</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:10pm<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:27pm<b>danniKay214</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:42am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:41am<b>ares99</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Food2Abs</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:16am<b>michhreinders</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:49am<b>MikeyLean</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:39pm<b>unotrea</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:52pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:38pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:52am

plaguer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16140) - you deserved it (65785)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25862) - you deserved it (7468)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11421) - you deserved it (34232)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (14535)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (37301)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (2186)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (38945)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (4012)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (4026)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (3508)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (2817)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (14834)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (2468)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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