About plaguer : Part time barista, tattoo parlor rest of the time. My dog's name is Bowser.
plaguer's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
plaguer's favorite FMLs
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML
by mdwillow / 10/12/2014 at 3:46am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML
by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…