Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Online | Search for a member

plaguer

5Fucked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7845
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:39pm<b>OhYouMad</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:26am<b>Sp4wn</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:52pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:23am<b>Pyneapple</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:38pm<b>Ice_Cold_Llama</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:01am<b>lagreeni</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:08pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:08pm<b>timotay89</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:47pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:32pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:10am<b>unscrupulous</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:02pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Mendez6</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:37am<b>lightbeam584</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:24pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:16pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:12pm

plaguer's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

#14843192
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (7159)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

#14836344
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (7391)

On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8391) - you deserved it (62297)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (3400)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (3873) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30958) - you deserved it (19986) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33753) - you deserved it (3597)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (6023)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (23057)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50951) - you deserved it (8659)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

#14309461
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34495) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:48am - misc - by Username - Canada

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

#14257746
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13654) - you deserved it (28488)

On 12/19/2010 at 5:28am - love - by lonelyengineer (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

#14253305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9732) - you deserved it (24873)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36688) - you deserved it (9823)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: