Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Online | Search for a member

plaguer

4Fucked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7498
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>lagreeni</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:08pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:08pm<b>timotay89</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Ice_Cold_Llama</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:47pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:32pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:10am<b>unscrupulous</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:02pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Mendez6</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:37am<b>lightbeam584</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:24pm<b>phaelnb</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:58am<b>Ethological</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:39pm<b>xPaladin</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:50pm<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:04am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:16pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:12pm

plaguer's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (63622)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (9724)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (29655)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a shower while he went downstairs. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered "slut" while pouring him orange juice. FML

#15831964
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38410) - you deserved it (20688)

On 04/18/2011 at 5:34am - intimacy - by sllaggy -

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (10362)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

#15780453
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (7162)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML

#15705235
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (5208)

On 04/09/2011 at 4:08am - love - by confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17906) - you deserved it (75247)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (6678)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (2793)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13527) - you deserved it (34958)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

#15113643
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45876) - you deserved it (4396)

On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46400) - you deserved it (13285)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: